My daughter lost her dad (my ex-husband) to cancer. My best friend’s elderly dog died. Plus, I and many of my colleagues are furloughed this month to satisfy the budget of our corporate employers. Still others have been offered a buyout or were terminated.

The holidays feel especially hard this year. The pandemic has waxed and waned but lingers still. Illness is all around in an active “tripledemic” with cases of COVID-19, influenza and respiratory syncytial virus, known as RSV, on the rise.

But out in the city, consumerism still reigns. The hustle and bustle of the holidays continues with gift-buying steeped in tradition along with holiday travels.

Many just aren’t feeling it this year, and that’s OK. If this is you, I’m here to say you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

If you’re on the other side of this emotion and have Christmas spirit flowing out of your ears, that’s fine too. If the Christmas spirit helps see you through the dark days of winter or if it really is the most wonderful time of the year for you, so be it.

There is no right or wrong way to do the holidays. There should be no expectations. Take the pressure off. The only thing I ask is that no matter how you’re getting through it, have some grace. Meet people where they are and without judgment.

Every path is valid. Everyone is in a different space on their own personal path -- and yes, sometimes life just requires we take a break or take the long way around. If this is you, be kind to yourself. If this is someone you know, be kind to them, too.

We intersect with so many people during the holidays. Some we only see during this time of year. They offer us a snapshot in time of who they are at this moment -- good or bad. It’s easy to judge as if it were a truthful representation of the person as a whole.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe you get to see them on their best day. Maybe it’s their worst. It doesn’t really matter. Our job is to be present. To try and hold space for those who need it. Not to make assumptions, fight or cast judgment.

Instead, be the light that holds space for people in hard times. Be the light that acknowledges the accomplishments of those in good times. And if you are someone who is struggling, look for the people who are willing to hold space for you. Find solace and refuge in the kindness of others while offering your kindness in return. That is the true spirit of the holidays.

Check out Bonnie’s weekly YouTube videos at https:// www. youtube. com/ bonniejeanfeldkamp. To find out more about Bonnie Jean Feldkamp and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.